Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Cat Vs. Dog Vs. Hooman: National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day.

Bring it.
January 22nd is National Answer Your Cat's Questions day. No kidding. It's a thing. Anyway, we'd be remiss in missing this chance to answer some of our feline friends most pressing questions. To make it more interesting, we've decided to do this panel style with some of our most awesome kittehs asking and some of our amazing pooches answering along with the humans. Which might not be exactly in the spirit of the holiday but we seriously doubt National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day has an official rulebook.

As no one wants to look at a picture of a human in the blog, everyone's favorite oddball puppy Kermit will be filling in for the human in photos. Because he's an easy going guy who's down for anything.

Excuse me - I have something...
Bandit the Cat: Hey Hooman, explain the toilet. That thing is terrifying.

Toilet water is the essence of life.
Maya The Dog: The toilet? It's because hoomans are geniuses and figured out how to invent a self cleaning water bowl that they can also use as a seat to read magazines on.

I'm a hooman! I'm a hooman with a green frog!
Hooman (As Repped By Kermit): Don't let Maya kiss you. Seriously Bandit, you're a clean guy. Like most kittehs, a dirty litterbox grosses you out. We're like that too. A toilet is like a self cleaning litterbox but with water instead of sand. (Note to other hoomans: if your kitty is not being great about the box, check how often you're cleaning it. The same way we have an aversion to Porta-Potties at crowded events, cats have an aversion to dirty litterboxes. It's understandable.)

This is my serious question face. 
Tahiti The Cat: Hey Hooman, Why can't I lay on your face while you're asleep?

I'd like to talk about bed real estate as well. 
Princess The Dog: That's actually a totally legit question. Expand on that, Hooman. Why you take up so much of the bed when I clearly need at least 75% of it, even if I do only weigh fifteen pounds?

I'm Kermit the hooman and I have an octopus! 
Hooman (Realistically Portrayed By Kermit): Okay guys, someone has to buy the kibble around here. And in order to pull that off, humans need a couple of basic things: oxygen and sleep being two big ones. We love that you love to love us. But we do need to breathe and rest sometimes. A bonus? The better rested us humans are, the more productive we are. The more productive we are, the more likely it is we'll be able to afford to be as awesome as these folks and their ginormous rescue pet bed.

Let me out - I've got to run to the corner. Back in a sec. I swear. 
Annabelle The Cat: Hey Hooman, how come you don't want me going outside without you watching?

Let me out - I've gotta chase the cat. 
Clara The Dog: If you're outside unattended and you get into my yard, I'm going to chase you. It's just who I am.

Look! I'm doing my serious-hooman face!
Hooman (With Kermit Reprising His Breakout Role): Clara has a point there - there are lots of things outside that want to chase you. And other things that don't want to chase you but you might accidentally cross paths with - like cars, for instance. Plus your species makes notoriously poor nutritional choices when left to your own devices and we love you very much. We don't want you to come home sick after dining on something you found. But the world is a pretty dangerous place for cats and we worry.

I'm honestly curious. I swear. 
Mamba The Cat: Hey Hooman, why does the dog exist?

Umm.. Wow. You went there. 
Pibble Poopy The Dog: Well, this is awkward.

She did. She went there. Wow.
Hooman (With Kermit Not Breaking Character): Okay, now you made it weird. We're going to wrap this one up. But don't forget to answer all your cat's questions on January 22nd. If you don't have a cat, we can help you with that. All the kitties featured on this page are available for adoption and Annabelle and Bandit are both in our Super 7 which means their adoption fees are waived. Meet all of our kids here.


No comments:

Post a Comment